One of the most important ideas I've learned is the difference between having a "fixed" or a "growth" mindset.
It's quite similar to "nature versus nurture" - and is the internal monologue that scores every aspect of our lives .
People in a fixed mindset believe you either are or aren't good at something, because it's just who you are.
People in a growth mindset believe anyone can be good at anything, because your abilities are based on your actions.
This seems simple, but it's incredibly deep. The fixed mindset is the most common. It is also the most harmful. It's critical to to understand and consider how it is affecting you.
In a fixed mindset, you believe "she's a natural born musician" or "I'm just not good at math".
In a growth mindset, you believe "anyone can be good at anything and skill comes only from practice".
The fixed mindset believes trouble is destructive. If you believe, "You're either naturally great or will never be great", then when you have any trouble, your mind reiterates this believe and thinks, "I told you so. You will never excel at this. Just give up now".
The growth mindset simply views trouble as helpful feedback in the learning process.
Can you see how a subtle difference in mindset changes everything?
Some More Examples:
In a fixed mindset, you stick with what you know to ensure you keep your confidence.
In a growth mindset, you maintain your confidence by always pushing the boundaries and exploring the unfamiliar - to ensure you're always learning.
In a fixed mindset, failure defines you.
In a growth mindset, failures are temporary hurdles and minor setbacks.
In a fixed mindset, you want to hide your flaws so you're not labeled a failure or judged.
In a growth mindset, your flaws are simply a list of things to do and to improve.
In a fixed mindset, you believe if you’re romantically compatible with someone, everything should just come naturally and should both share all the same views.
In a growth mindset, you believe a lasting relationship comes from working through inevitable differences and continuously making effort.
In a fixed mindset, it’s entirely about the outcome. If you fail, you think all is lost.
In a growth mindset, it’s all about the process, thus the outcome hardly matters.
Overall, your mindset itself is not fixed. The view you adopt for yourself significantly affects the way you lead your life.
You can change your perspective simply by thinking it through.